Thursday, April 21, 2011

Villain's Lament - by Rand (prompt = Bad)

I'm not a bad guy
But I'm The Bad Guy


  1. 1. Bad Things

    shopping at Wal-Mart
    not calling my parents often enough
    my lack of knowledge of power tools and home repair
    not exercising often enough
    Hezbollah, the government of Iran, and extremism of any sort
    arguments with my wife
    those gusty winds during North Dakota winters
    did I mention facebook?
    bottled salad dressing
    (is it really so hard to make your own?)

    1.5 Recipe for Salad Dressing

    this one is good if you have a salad for four
    scale appropriately
    1 teaspoon salt
    2 tablespoons vinegar
    (I don't care what anyone says, vinegar is vinegar,
    don't bother buying expensive vinegar
    the stuff in the gallon bottle is just fine)
    5 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
    (as long as it's extra virgin, again, doesn't matter if it's the cheapest brand,
    trust me)
    put in a jar with a lid,
    or, better yet,
    a martini shaker ($5 at Target -- don't even think of looking at Wal-Mart)
    pour over the salad

    2. Bad and Baseball

    bad sounds like bat the way some people say it
    you use a bat to play baseball
    I'm looking forward to baseball season this summer
    hopefully, I'll get to see three or four Redhawks games this summer
    I like to get seats behind home plate in the farthest row
    there I can see the infield quite well, but I'm in the shade
    It's more fun, at least for me, if you keep score while watching
    Each batter gets a mark
    For example, 1B for a single, K for a strikeout,
    6-3 with a one in a circle means the guy hit it to the shortstop who threw it to first for the first our of the inning
    a completed scorecard makes a nice souvenier

  2. I believe with every iota
    Of life in my cells
    That being bad
    Is too easy--
    And that is why
    I also believe
    It's so difficult to be.